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"Little Johnny" was dressed in his Sunday Best & was running
as fast as he could trying not to be late for Sunday School. As he ran, he prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me
be late!" As he was running & praying, he tripped on a curb & fell, getting his clothes dirty & tearing a
hole in his pants. "Little Johnny" got up, brushed himself off & started running again. As "Little
Johnny" ran once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't make me be late! ... but don't shove me either!"
When "Little Johnny" asked his Grandma how old she was, she teasingly relpied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear,
Grandma," "Little Johnny" advised. "Mine says I'm four."
"Little Johnny" again asked his Grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding." "Little Johnny"
thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
"Little Johnny" came home from school and said to his mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied "Little Johnny" "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
"Little Johnny" sitting in church one Sunday with his father watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates.
When they came near his pew, "Little Johnny" said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
It was Palm Sunday and because of a sore throat, 5 year old "Little Johnny" stayed home from Church with a sitter. When
the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. "Little Johnny" asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus's head as He walked by." "Wouldn't you know it," "Little Johnny" fumed, "The
one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
"Little Johnny" was visiting his Grandma one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you & God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old", he replied.
"Little Johnny" couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie he had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under
the Sea". The scenes with the submarine & the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, his
father interupted & asked, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity "Little Johnny" replied, "Dad,
it was the 20,000 leaks!"
"Little Johnny" went on vacation with his Grandparents, & when they entered their vacation cabin, they had kept the
lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing
them before his Grandparents did, "Little Johnny" whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa". "The mosquitoes are after us with flashlights".
The Sunday School Teacher asked, "Now, "Little Johnny", tell me, do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," he replied,
"We don't have to. My Mom is a good cook!"
"Little Johnny" had just been to his new Sunday School class when his Mom & Dad asked him who his new Sunday School
Teacher's name was. "Little Johnny" replied, "I don't know her name but I think she must have been Jesus's Grandma!" "Why
do you think that?" asked his parents. "Well," he began, "the way she bragged & bragged so much about Jesus!, she just
had to be "His" Grandma!
On Easter Sunday morning as the Pastor was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props & pulled
out an egg. He pointed at the egg & asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know!" "Little Johnny" exclaimed, "Pantyhose!"
"Little Johnny" was watching his Dad, a Pastor, write a sermon for the coming Sunday service, "Little Johnny" asked his
Dad, "How do you know what to say?" His Dad replied, "Why God tells me." Sharp "Little Johnny" responded, "Oh, then why do
you keep crossing things out?"
"Little Johnny" had been getting into a lot of mischief one day. His exasperated Mom finally asked him, "How do you expect
to get into Heaven?" "Little Johnny" thought it over & said, "Well, I'll just run in & out & keep slamming the
door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, "Little Johnny" come in or stay out!"
"Little Johnny" was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real
good time like I am!"
To help pass the time while traveling in the car, "Little Johnny" was practing his new reading skills by calling out
road signs. Just before they entered Quebec, he fell fast asleep. When he awoke, he saw the French highway signs & said
in a worried tone, "I think I forgot how to read while I was sleeping!"
A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The Teacher asked if
anyone could tell her what it is?" You know who - "Little Johnny" - raised his hand, stood tall & quoted, "Thou shall
not take the covers off the neighbor's wife.
One Sunday, when "Little Johnny" & his family were living in Minneapolis, he came home from Sunday School with a
big frown on his face. "I'm not going back there anymore!" he announced with finality. "I don't like the Bible they keep teaching
us!" "Why not?" asked his astonished Mother. "Because" said "Little Johnny" "that Bible is always talking about St. Paul and
it never once mentions Minneapolis!"
"Little Johnny" prays:
"Give us this day our deli bread!"
"Glory be to the Father & to the Son & the whole east coast!"
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise hill all creatures, here we go!"
Ain't "Little Johnny" cute?
+++ Keep on a Smilin' for Jesus! +++
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